so i have been thinking I might move to lOndon and if I did i would go to fashion school and try and work for the designer Ilse who is one of my hero's.. she designed this room, and I absolutely adore her!! but it seems so scary to do such a thing, eek what to do???

different plans to make life worth while, some of them better some of them worse... wondering shall I go or shall the curse???

So I have been really thinking lately of going to fashion design school or gettign a fashion job in a big city... mmm, but of course I know if anyone the grass is always greener... so I have really been trying to evaluate why I want this, and if it would be good. I know what I want: I just want to make clothes, jewlery, paint pictures, write words that make stories, decorate houses, listen to music, eat good food, have a garden and travel expierence art and nature....but really it just makes me think that I would have functioned so well in a past society. b/c isn't that what women in all the generations until now did, b/c if I go and become a patternmaker for Marni or Oilily my dream companies what am I going to be spending all day cutting out a shape for a sleeve??? who knows. gees louise.

You have to know how to use the accident, how to recognize it, how to control it. -Helen Frankenthaler

I escaped to Springdale this weekend to get away I was about to go crazy, more than ever... like this little drawing of a girl. That's what this city is making me feel like lately, and I am not sure why??? But i was thinking that I could make a skeleton quilt like this one that these witches are, to make me feel better and then I wouldn't always feel like this curse was on me, the one with the pins in the heart in the book. I was thinking of ways I could reverse the curse and cheer things up.

not supposed to be together... not supposed to be apart. letting it float around in the air like a feather, waiting for something to hit it like a dart. dragging it down to the gound, til there isn't a thing, not even a sound.

This weekend I decided that Frida Kahlo is one of my faviorite artisit next to Mattisse, I think she and her life were so amazing and fascinating. She painted pictures of things that most people don't even dare to explore or become aware of. She was very brave and passionate. I admire her and I love looking at her art. She is a beautiful person .....
I like this quote about her husband Diego Riveria a very famous Mexican artisit:
“There have been two great accidents in my life. One was the trolley, and the other was Diego. Diego was by far the worst.”
They had a very tumultous love and they married and then divorced and married again, the second time was worse than the first. lOve is crazy... He loved her and said that she was the most beautiful part of his enitre life............